What Do I Do Now?
by CryMeOut
Summary: "I want you to love it," she said quietly, almost a whisper. ONE SHOT. When both Kai and Hilary return after New Year, it's obvious something's been going on... but what? R&R


**16/04/2011 - Hi everyone jsut to let you all know, I haven't updated this fic but thought I would let my kind reviewers know that I will not be updating this further as it is a One Shot. Thank you.**

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><p><span>What Do I Do Now?<span>

The first thing they noticed about her was that she wasn't wearing her customary attire. Her usually relatively short skirts and tiny crop tops were replaced but a washout pair of black leggings and a long baggy top, drowning her miniature figure.

As she entered the dojo, Hilary felt all eyes upon her and tipped her head down slightly, in attempt to hide from them. Tentatively, she made her way over to the small circle all seated on the floor and sat down in the biggest gap, still making no eye contact. The brunette ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, looking up and finally meeting the evidentially worried eyes of her team mates. Their looks all portrayed some sort of empathy, which made Hilary unexpectedly begin to feel very, very sick. This time she wasn't sure what it was that was making her feel so ill...

Tyson was the first to speak. Being a boy with little common sense, he did not pause to think how his words were going to affect the brunette. "Hilary, what _happened_? You look really rough!"

A series of tuts and "_Tyson!_"s made their way around the circle and Hilary smiled weakly, somewhat amused at the navy haired teen's poorly chosen words. But really, she did agree with him. The mental stress that she had been undertaking over the past few weeks had worn her out to the point that she didn't even care what she looked like. Well, maybe that was taking it too far; it's just that none of her clothes seemed to fit anymore...

"I get what you guys are saying," Tyson began again, "but seriously Hils, I know at the New Year's party you said you wanted to change your style but this" – he gestured to what she was wearing with a hand and raised an eyebrow – "no offence or anything but you look like you've just climbed out of a bin."

The New Year's party. Hilary remembered. That's where it all went horribly wrong. She had managed to hide from them all, this being the first team meeting since the party, but now she had to face them, changed.

Yet again, her team mates scolded Tyson for his insensitivity and the team's coach suddenly spoke up. "Shouldn't we start training for the day?" Hiro said, trying to avert the focus of conversation. Hilary nodded at him gratefully.

Ray sighed and placed his head in his hands. "We need to wait for Kai," he murmured, giving the rest of his team an apologetic look. They all gave sighs of desperation.

"Is he even coming back?" Max asked. Since the party none of them had heard anything from Kai, nothing. Like he had just disappeared off the face of the earth. But Ray was sure the lone wolf captain would come back, he was just so sure, and kept reminding everyone about his positivity. Hilary froze.

And as if on cue, the said teen appeared leaning his back against the door frame, wearing his usual blue combats, black jacket, fingerless gloves and infamous scarf, adding to his outfit by wearing the black trench coat which suited him well.

"Sorry I'm late," he smirked, eyes closed. The words rolled off the tip of his tongue and a new cocky attitude radiated off him like the sun's heat and light. They all noticed it immediately.

Kai Hiwatari had changed.

He sauntered forwards, opening his eyes to reveal his crimson orbs and stopped abruptly. Hilary. She was _here_. Just there, sitting on the floor. Kai glared at her and boy, if looks could kill..., began walking towards the large gap next to her –_oh no! He's going to sit next to me! -_ and straight through to the centre only to sit down next to Ray on the other side. And then he just...ignored her. Like she wasn't even there.

The boys all began to talk excitedly about their plans for the upcoming tournaments that year, save for Kai, who just nodded and "hn'd" at intervals to show his interest, while completely leaving out the brunette, and Hilary didn't realise that she was crying until Hiro stopped the meeting and they all turned to look at her. She bit her trembling bottom lip, desperately trying to stop the tear flood but found it impossible and placed her hands over her face.

"Hilary, if you'd like to step outside..." Hiro gestured to the brunette to follow him out of the room and she got up without looking at anyone and walked towards the door. It was just her luck to trip over Kai's leg and she turned a bright beetroot red as she hurried away.

"Watch where you're going," he muttered under his breath so that only Hilary could hear. She clenched her fists and stood up straight to stop herself from exploding into a fit of hysterical sobbing.

The coach laid a reassuring hand on her should but Hilary immediately shrugged it off like he had just burnt her. Hiro had a confused expression plastered across his face and he bent down to her level.

"Hilary, tell me what's wrong," he soothed, but gaining no luck.

"I'm fine," she tried, "just leave me alone, please."

The coach gave an unsatisfied grunt and tried again. "Hilary," Hiro said, placing a hand upon her shoulder again.

"Don't touch me!" she shrieked before bursting into fresh crystal tears, holding her head in her hands. "I'm sorry," she began again in a low, hushed voice, "I'm fine, just leave me alone. _Please!"_ she begged, looking deep into Hiro's eyes.

The navy haired adult shook his head pitifully; he guessed he wouldn't be getting any answers out of the brunette any time soon. Having the same persistently stubborn trait that his younger brother had – although the coach didn't feel the need to show it all the time – he tried a third time.

"Hilary, please tell me what's troubling you, I can help!" he said exasperatedly and wide eyed. This was proving more of a challenge than he thought.

"Leave. Her. Alone." It was a new voice and the two both looked up to find Kai coming through the doorway and down the hall to where the pair of teens were.

As he approached, his glanced up and down the brunette and sneered. "Trying to make everyone else feel sorry for you now are you?"

She gulped, swallowing her tears, and remained mute.

"What's going on?" Hiro narrowed his eyes, searching for some sort of answer in the brunette's lost eyes.

"Nothing to do with you." It wasn't Hilary who answered, it was Kai.

Hiro straightened up, almost squaring up to Kai. Man, that boy had gotten a lot taller in the past month. He was almost matching up to Hiro! And those muscles, where had they sprouted from? The navy haired adult glared at the dual bluenette.

"I believe I didn't ask you the question."

"I believe it's not your place to ask."

Hiro shook his head; he didn't have time for this. "Whatever is going on, I assume it's between you two, but if you ever need to talk" – he peered around Kai as he began to walk away and spoke to the brunette – "you know where to find me."

Nodding meekly, Hilary breathed in, trying to compose herself. When Hiro walked away, she found herself with the person she wouldn't even want to be with if he was on the last person on Earth.

"Just go away," she said, finding a buckle on his coat suddenly very interesting. Her lip trembled and a tear rolled down her red, blemished cheeks. The Russian above her let his eyes fly, and let out a deep grunt. What was wrong with her?

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked, whispering so quietly that he barely heard her, and still not glancing up.

Kai shrugged. "I don't know, it's not my problem," he said callously, waving it off instantly. He didn't care; why should he?

This time, the brunette looked up at him, a hand tightly clenching some of the material from his jacket and tears flowing liberally down her hurt features. "How, can you be so, _heartless_?" she managed between sobs.

As he opened his mouth to retaliate, the sound of voices became louder and everyone spilled out into the corridor.

Kai let his eyes fly, "Does anyone else want to interrupt us?" he stated passively, keeping his stone eyes fixed on Hilary.

The bluenette huffed and creased his face. "Well I _am _sorry!" Tyson said angrily, "sorry for being concerned for my _friend_." He emphasised the word 'friend' as he thought that Kai was not capable of knowing the meaning of it. He reached out and squeezed Hilary's hand to which she gave a slight smile. "If you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me."

She nodded, not looking up and Tyson sighed and left, beckoning the others to follow him; their eyes not hiding the fact they were extremely inquisitive.

The dual haired teen smirked. "You have such nice friends."

"And they used to be yours," came the reply.

That shut him up. For once, Kai Hiwatari had nothing to say. The brunette's words hung in the air like a thick fog, neither one of them knowing what would become of the moment.

After what seemed like an hour but was only a couple of minutes, Hilary bravely spoke up.

"What do I do now?"

Kai shrugged again. "Whatever you want, it's your baby." He said emotionlessly, like he didn't care. Truth be told, he _didn't _care.

"It's takes two people to make a baby so two should look after it." Hilary said firmly, beginning to find the strength to fight. She was trying desperately to make the lone wolf feel something, anything...

"Well what if two people don't want to look after it?" he raised a slate brow and studied the trembling girl.

"Well then you shouldn't have made it." She stated coldly, hatred burning red inside her.

"Wasn't planning on it."

"No, neither was I, but you know what? I'm going to accept this responsibility and get on with the way my life has changed!" Hilary spat, clenching her fists in her fury.

Kai was taken aback. Nobody had spoken to him in this tone or with this much passion in a long while and he had been caught off guard. He _didn't _care about what he had done, did he? Then why was there an ache inside of him telling him that he was doing something wrong.

His cerise orbs quivered in exasperation. "Hilary, what is it you want me to do? I will pay for this baby. I will take you down to the clinic for an abortion if that's what you'd prefer. But I cannot, under _any _circumstance take care of this child. What is it you are asking me to do?" he asked, running a hand through his thick dual locks in frustration.

Immediately, Hilary opened her mouth, then paused and thought. Thought about what she _really _wanted from Kai.

"I want you to love it," she said quietly, almost a whisper.

_And me..._

Kai closed his eyes, leaned against the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a few minutes he stood up straight and opened his eyes. They were black as coal and should no emotion.

"I will love it," he started, "but I won't ever love you."

And he turned and walked briskly away.

The End

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